 |
|
[ Wednesday, July 27, 2005 ]
Mum made me so worried today when she told me during lunch break that she is feeling depressed and had thoughts of ending her life. Sigh. Tried to comfort her and told her not to be so silly. If she's gone, what will happened to me? My mum is my only motivation now. We had went through so much difficulties before life finally changed for the better. Imagine having to go hungry because we had no money to eat, imagine having nightmares almost every night and fear of not knowing when loansharks will come knocking on your door. With a father who goes in and out of the prison like going to resort. Even till now, I still finds it hard to address my current father who came into our life a few years back, father. Despite that, I still think he is the most wonderful father one can get though sometime I tend to argue with him and showed him temper. He work day and night to support this family without any complains, he brought us out during sunday with his big lorry, he never look down on us and even treated me as his own. However, there is always this unknown fear in me. That also explain why sometime I hate to talk about my family in a detailed ways. I'm scare of how others view me. Insecured is the word to describe how I felt, I guess. Maybe this is a test to me. It makes me a stronger person. I don't get emotions over teeny weeny things. I learn how to forgive and forget. Nowadays, life has been more stable, and I always tried to encourage my mum not to worry about me so much and she can actually find time to enjoy herself, but maybe it's because she has lost touch with her friends and don't know where to go, that's why she rather stayed at home. I hope I can provide my family with a better life next time. Maybe hire a maid to do the housework. Sigh. My mum feeling better now. Asking me how's work and all. Just hope everything is fine.
posted
by ChewyJas
@ 10:07 PM [ link
]
|
|
|
|
